Friday, December 18, 2009


Well, hello again. It's been awhile, to say the least. For months now I've been meaning to post again, maybe next time I've got wireless, but maybe after I grab some coffee, or when I find a killer photo to use as a metaphor... and then, just a minute ago, I read this astonishingly inspirational post by the lovely lady behind the blog Little Red Fox. Now, this blog is just incredible. For the most part I really only read fashion blogs, but one lucky day last spring I came across this one and I fell for it, like that. She's creative, enthusiastic, a great writer, and she sometimes shares stories about her experience working with David Hyde Pierce. How could I not love her?

Anyway, she revealed in this post that all of the beautiful things she creates and sells in her Etsy shop, all of the photos she takes, all of the posts she writes, et cetera, were all made possible by skills she has acquired in the past two years. Here I was, assuming she was this superhero, the next Martha, while slumped at my desk yearning for such natural prowess, when all along she was JUST LIKE ME a couple years ago.
Except for one (yes, just ONE) thing: she had the motivation and belief that she was capable of learning and doing and fucking up and then doing again and eventually getting exactly the results she had hoped for.

SO. This year has been a rather strange one. I graduated from college with a highly predictable B.A. in English -- I was always a bookworm, and writing was my only creative outlet -- but with no inspiration or energy for writing (even in my journal!), or interest in reading (I couldn't even finish my first attempt at Virginia Woolf!), or ambition in any career path. Then, I took a class in jewelry making and metal work and suddenly I was filled with inspiration and ambition and drive and... what have I done with it? Not much, at all.

Alright, you guessed it. This is a New Years' Resolution post. A little early, yes, but so very earnest. There will always be reasons not to do, not to try, not to fuck up and grow up. I will always have too little time, because life is short, but sweet for certain.* And it will be made all the sweeter if I finally grow the proverbial pair and just work hard. I don't know yet who I want to be or what I want to do or where I want to go, but I sure as hell won't find out without research, and work, and introspection, and the occasional failure.

In 2010, I will
- learn to sew (like, at all. Even just replacing a button would be a struggle for me, now.)
- continue to redefine my ideas about diaries, through my recently acquired and deeply beloved veryfirstever Moleskine sketchbook
- be a better pen pal
- begin dancing again
- actively research the artists and designs and methods and fields that interest me
- make a lovely home
- keep up with this blog; not for you, the anonymous, judgmental entity of my bad mood daydreams, but for myself, and the unknown others who may like me, and the things I like, and maybe this blog, too.


*Yes, I did just quote Dave Matthews Band, shutup.


  1. oh my goodness what a lovely lovely lovely thing to read. i can't tell you how thrilling it is for me to know that--first of all anyone reads the dang blog at all. and second that it does something good for somebody like you :) and its all true: you can learn and do anything you want. you know that thing about how we only use 10% of our brain? i think we should try to use more! WAY more!! anyway. i really really appreciate what you wrote. and i also really really look forward to this next year and see what you do! its ok to not feel motivated, too. i like to think that ideas/concepts are "incubating." and i'm so thrilled you like the blog!!!

    lemme know if you want help learning to sew :)

    and nice to meet you!

    all the best in the world,
    mary catherine

  2. I like that, the part about ideas incubating. The strange and wonderful thing about these past few months is that suddenly I've realized I AM capable of expressing myself through new mediums, and it's made everything so much more beautiful and interesting and dizzying. I just want so badly to hold on to that and not waste this excitement!

    (Speaking of, I am like, silly and giddy about your commenting on my eensy little blog. You're so sweet!)